He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
