Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
one two three fourrrrnication!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
