Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize