Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
well most of my day revolves around power hour
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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