did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
