you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You made out with two different species that night
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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