from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
My life is pants optional.
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