When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
