He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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