Why does Corona taste like a burp?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
