The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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