whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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