You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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