god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is it because I queefed?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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