you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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