I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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