ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We talked him into tasing himself.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
