i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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