I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
