I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
