Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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