last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
