: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
