yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
