And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
