don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
