Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
