So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
