You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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