I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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