You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So vagazzling was a success
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
