I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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