all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
