Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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