I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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