you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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