just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
