I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
