So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
