dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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