Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
