bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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