Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
