All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize