im having a threesome with these popsicles
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
don't judge my taste in strippers
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
