chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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