if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
