we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
