this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
