bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize