My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
