so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
