Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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