i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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