I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
