we made out on top of his cat.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
