Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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