YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
