I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
