I wanna bring you to show and tell
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
