puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
